Eating Disorder Recovery and Grief: when are you done?

Grief, like eating disorder recovery, is individual. Although sometimes it can follow a trajectory like this recovery slogan:

It gets better

Then it gets worse

Then it gets different

Then it gets real different.

There are all kinds of metaphors about how grief is something you learn to carry more gracefully over time. The grief doesn’t get smaller. We grow bigger, around the grief, and learn to live with it differently. Here is a beautiful visual of Dr Lois Tonkin’s model of grief, which shows how the griever grows around the grief…

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A Recovery Story

The story of the velveteen rabbit has lots of eating disorder recovery wisdom. What are the essential parts of yourself? What are the eating disorder parts? What parts of you are shiny and polished, what parts are dismissive, what parts are diseased? What is the part of you that wants to connect and wants to become real? How does one become real (recovered)?

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Orchids, Dandelions, and Recovery

Some recovery counselors recommend getting a pet after going through treatment (for alcoholism, eating disorders, depression)…

Many of my clients are what might be characterized as “orchids.” Orchids are a sensitive lot. They need just the right amount of light and water, or they don’t bloom. They’re often the ones, as children, that stay on the edge of the playground until the conditions are exactly right for them to jump in and play. I often use this analogy with my clients: If you go to a playground and one person runs right to the slide to go down it, and one person pauses before deciding where they would most feel comfortable playing, who is better?

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